Friday, November 23, 2007

Being Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving. This was no doubt a tough Thanksgiving for us. Two weeks ago we canceled our plans to host both sides of our family at our house. It just didn't seem right to be celebrating. After a few days I came to the conclusion that I needed to be surrounded by family, so I requested that my side keep their plans to come here. A few days later Sue's side also came to that same conclusion, so our canceled Thanksgiving ended up being 18 people, a large bird and more pies than should be allowed by law.
It is typically a tradition of ours to go around the table and say what we are thankful for. In light of recent events that was not done. Instead we toasted. At first it was hard to be thankful, but then I realized that yes, we were missing one person, but I was surrounded by 17 others that I cherish. I was also thankful for the time we had with Sandi, as a sister and as a best friend.
After the table was cleared, the left overs stored and the football games ended, it was time to relax and let protruding belly get some rest. I began flipping through the channels and stopped on the Hilary Duff move "Raise Your Voice." The movie ended with a song she performed in honor of her recently deceased brother. I have been numb for the last week or so, but hearing the lyrics to that song brought a rush of emotion I was not expecting. As much as it hurts, it also felt good to feel and let some of the numbness wash away in a flood of tears. Here are some of the lyrics.

So I won't give up No I won't break
down Sooner than it seems life turns around And I will be strong Even if it all
goes wrong When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe That I won't give up No
I won't break down Sooner than it seems life turns around And I will be strong Even
when it all goes wrong When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe That
someone's watching over Someone's watching over Someone's watching over
me.

1 comment:

karen clark said...

Very Nice. I am glad that you and your family have each others support to work through these difficult times. I feel closer to you and your family and sandi as I read your posts about your healing process. The holiday season seems to be the most difficult time of year in the greif process of loosing a loved one. My dad lost his long term girl friend in march, and it was so nice to see our family and hers surrounding my dad and paulas children on thursday. Yes, we truley miss her, and the dessert table was not the same without her contributions, yet we had a great day, plenty of food and other delicious desserts, and family that really does care.

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