Sunday, November 8, 2009

Back to Normal?

It's hard to believe it's been two years since Sandi's death. She still feels like such an everyday part of my life. Not a day goes by that she is not in my thoughts in some way or another. It's usually in a comforting way, like what would Sandi do in this situation? The haunting visions of November 7, 2007 are no longer a daily part of my life. Their presence is few and far between, allowing the magic of Sandi's memory to fill my heart with love and peace.

It's hard to say that things are back to normal because since her death normal has changed form. A new "normal" has emerged with the guidance of Sandi's memory helping lead the way.

The second anniversary of her death passed on Saturday with frequent thoughts of her as we went about our busy day. I had a wedding and both kids had hockey games. I'm planning on stopping at the cemetery tomorrow to reflect on my own.

I had a dream a while back that I had the opportunity to sit down with Todd and talk very openly about how his actions effected everyone. It was a very calm conversation, which is not what I would have expected if given the opportunity. I woke up before we ever got to the part of the dream where he either apologized or I forgave him. I don't know if I could, but I feel like a door was opened to allow some healing to take place.

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