Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Staying Positive

I'm all about being a positive thinker. I would definitely consider myself an optimist. It's pretty much a way of life for me. This week however, I have bitten my cheek or lip so many times I want to throw something. Honestly, who do you get mad at when you bite yourself so hard your hear the skin crunch? So I've decided to rant a little, more for the humor value of it all than anything else. Here is my top ten useless annoyances, some of them dating back to college when I was writing a book on them.

10. Tongue paper cuts while licking envelopes.
9. Sneezing so hard I pull a muscle in my neck.
8. When my wheeled luggage starts walking like R2D2 until it rolls over and plays dead.
7. Door dings.
6. Slow computers.
5. Slamming my toothbrush straight into my gums while brushing my teeth.
4. Public bathroom toilet paper that rips in finger print size increments.
3. Stepping on a wet spot with my socks.
2. Walking in to the edge of a door when it hits my foot and stops.
1. Biting my cheeks and lips. I hate that more than anything. You do it once and it sets the stage to bite the swollen nugget for the next week.

There, I did it. I feel better now. Have any of your own? Add them to the comments section.

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